Weariness.
Sometimes life just seems tiring, doesn’t it? I’m in one of those times now. It feels as though the past few years have battered me — though there were light days, many happy moments, the whole of the past few years has been a steady, slow decline. I think it has much to do with the kids growing up and me reeling from the suddenness of that – wondering what now? But it also has to do with outside issues, in America, in the extended family, in the world. “These are times to try men’s souls” applies to then as much as now. None of us has it easy.
When I really think about it, nothing is wrong. It’s just a bunch of little things that accumulate over time until the soul feels weary. Not every moment is wearisome or heavy — but without perspective, the days’ burdens add up until the overall effect is: weariness.
I wrote down Psalm 116:7 and have it hanging by my bed, where I will see it first thing in the morning and last thing at night:
Return to your rest. Return.
How can I return to rest?
By remembering. By remembering that the Lord has dealt bountifully with me.
Bountifully. Not rarely. Not in just small ways. Not in only occasional happy moments. But bountifully.
If I think about it, if I focus beyond the fog, I can remember things. Times when “the Lord dealt bountifully with me.” Times when He blessed me beyond with all that I hoped for. And then — I can return to my rest.
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