I regularly forget my order of priorities, but when I remember them again, my days run smoothly. I wish I could stay on the right track all the time!
I first learned the order that I use from author Linda Dillow in her book, Creative Counterpart, a book that I very, very highly recommend for anyone who is a wife and a mom! My copy is worn from reading it over and over through the years. Just today, I had my copy of Creative Counterpart out during my “God Time”. Some things, always the most important things, it seems, have to be repeated over and over to me, or I’ll slip back into my old ways of selfishness. Does that happen to you, too? It seems that my brain has a leak when it comes to all things important. Ah, well, at least we have books to read (such as the Bible!) to keep us on track.
Here is the list of priorities, in order of first priority to last:
God
Husband
Children
Home
Self
Others, which include anything outside the home, even church activities and ministry
In Creative Counterpart, there is a study section in the back that I am working through (for the umpteenth time). Today’s section suggested that we write a specific thing that we can do in the area of each priority.
This is what I wrote today:
For God: Be absolutely committed to a daily time with Him; no excuses, and no skipping! Make prayer a bigger priority.
For Tim (dh): Don’t argue; don’t complain; each morning, think of one thing that I can do for him that day.
For the Children: Spend time with each of them individually each week. My schedule for this is: 2yo: Monday; 5yo: Tuesday; 8yo: Thursday; 10yo Friday. I learned this from a dorm mom I had in boarding school. Even though she had 22 kids to be a “mother” to, she spent individual time with each child once a week for half an hour. I’m not telling my kids that I am doing this, in case the schedule needs to be flexible, but I will keep it in mind.
For the Home: Right now, I need to work on Menu Planning and making meal prep an easier task. Next, I want to work on decorating by visiting yard sales, and by doing what I can with what we have (scrubbing the walls is free to do!).
For Me: Give myself permission to work on my crafts or reading (or long baths!) daily, without guilt about what housework I think I “should” be doing. Permission granted! Also, walk daily.
For Others: Continue to blog (here!) and keep working on opening a website for other moms. Minister through the Internet, as that, helps keep my family first while the children are so small. Also, right now I am actively helping the survivors of Hurricane Katrina.
I encourage you to also write down your list of priorities, and think of what you can do in each area. Think of something that is pretty simple, so that you will know success.
by Lori Seaborg
I had a HUGE poster board with those headings across the top. Then I listed EVERY thing I did that went under those headings on sticky notes. I arranged them under each heading and saw how badly out of whack I had my priorities! After a few YEARS of doing this and waiting to make decisions (vs answering right away) I began to have good balance. Now I can do it mentally in my head and have learned to say no (even to good stuff so that I can say YES! to the excellent things!) Thanks for a great reminder!
I ordered this book from Paperback Swap last week and just got it in the mail today. Ive never read it but now Im even more excited to!
Thanks Lori, and thanks for the email. I hope to order the book soon. Eleanor
Thank you, Lori, for the beautiful reminder of what we should be doing. I had to make a decision recently that would have affected my whole family, and someone wrote that exact thing to me in an email that you did, and I realized that I wasnt keeping my priorities straight. I am going to write that down where I can see it every day so I dont forget what Gods plan is for me! God Bless you!!
Thanks for the reminder Lori! Funny how we forget such great ideas/truth so quickly!
Marsha
stored away somewhere!! Im going to go on a search and start reading it if I do… wonderful and inspiring blog today!!
Erica
Hi Lori! I really enjoyed this post. Over the past year I have really begun to re prioritize my life. We cut back on our outside the home activities, I learned to say no without guilt (mostly), and I decided not to join our homeschool group this year. I have felt so much better! It is amazing to me though, how easy it is to slip right back into things if you are not careful. The only thing on my list that is different is where I put myself. I usually order myself directly after God or my husband. The reason being, if I dont I get lost and then become sad and overwhelmed. When mama aint happy, aint nobody happy applies in our home. My husband has noticed how well this works for my overall disposition, and came up with the idea that I keep my scrapbooking stuff in our RV so I can go out and take a break whenever I want. =) Yippee!~ Keep this list handy and revise as necessary. God is faithful!