I’m exhausted. Mentally. Emotionally.
Life hit me with so many blows from Thanksgiving until now. Some things were really tough, but not everything was so hard. It’s just that each thing added up over time. I didn’t realize just how affected I was until yesterday when my parents left at dawn after a long visit with us. It was finally just our family and no holiday busyness. I would have thought that would motivate me to get started on the new year, but instead, the weight of the weeks finally took its toll.
Yesterday morning, after I crawled out of bed, I found a note in my mother’s handwriting:
“I woke up this morning with Grandpa’s verse going around in my head,
‘Behold I will do a new thing, Shall Ye not know it?
I will make a way in the wilderness; rivers in the desert.’
Isaiah 43, I think. I love you most, Mom”
It doesn’t take something “major” to empty our cups. I recently read a journal entry from 2003 when I sounded utterly exhausted with a new baby and a 7-year-old, 5-year-old, and 3-year-old underfoot. My cup needed filled then, as it does now. This is an ongoing part of life.
Missionary friends wrote the following in their recent prayer letter:
“What a blessing that even in the whirl of our lives, God’s Word keeps our eyes and hearts focused on the never-changing Truth that brings consistency to our often upside-down world.
“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart;
and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Psm 34:18
Meditating on that verse the other day then looking out into the eyes (which are the windows of our hearts!) of the many sick that sat outside the clinic eager for help, it hit me….we have an awesome opportunity through our medical outreach here. The depth of the blessing of such an incredible ministry is overwhelming.
Having done a word study on the word “contrite” I found it means broken to little pieces, like gravel. Gravel is much easier to mold into the shape desired than large stones! God desires we not be strong in our own selves but allow ourselves to be broken and dependent upon His strength and work in our lives. “
Exactly. I can’t say any more than that.
Lori Seaborg, 2008