Lori Seaborg

A Wishlist of Things to Do in 2009

 

I keep a little spiral notebook handy for jotting down things. In it, is a long list of things I want to do, started on January 9th, 2008. I've added to it over the past year (I want to do everything in the world that's not scary or evil, so my list is quite long).

1. Streak*: A 28-day (Sundays off) of strength exercises each morning
2. Spin on a drop spindle
3. Weave on a loom
4. Design a rug hooked piece
5. Complete the rug hooked piece I designed
6. Learn Photoshop actions
7. Plan menu for 30 days
8. Create recipe notebook of healthy options
9. Streak: 14 days of moving every day (heart-pumping exercise, Sundays off)
10. Plant a fall garden
11. Schedule goat & cat vaccine and worming care
12. Streak: Carry a snack bag wherever we go for 14 days
13. Get new Nikon lens and learn it
14. Learn f-stops and other buttons on camera
15. Knit an intermediate project
16. Write an ebook
17. Learn how to create Adobe .pdf documents
18. Streak: Read to children for 10 days straight
19. Create school schedule for rest of year
20. Design a softie
21. Write a tutorial on that designed softie
22. Read all of the Old Testament (Bible) to kids
23. Streak: Go to the riverbank for 14 mornings in a row
24. Print 50 photos
25. Write a letter
26. Write a thank you note
27. Write a letter again
28. Teach kids a new sport (note: my man totally needed to help out here!)
29. Streak: 7 days of being only positive to my man
30. Start FreelyEducate.com
31. Visit North Carolina
32. Schedule time for my learning (use this time for learning new things)
33. Schedule time for creativity
34. Give away 20 books for nothing in return
35. Knit scarf for our big fella
36. Make salve
37. Streak: Tea Time at 4pm for 4 days in a row
38. Attend a symphony
39. Attend an opera
40. Learn to hand quilt
41. Finish a hand quilted piece
42. Identify five birds
43. Learn to needle felt the goat's mohair
44. Learn to smock
45. Put photos into at least 2 frames
46. Make our little gal a softie or soft doll while she's still little
47. Make a chore chart for the kids
48. Make a chore chart for me
49. Plant a spring garden
50. Design a punch needle embroidery (photo above)

There is an update in the middle of my lists that says, "On May 5, 2008, I had a big setback, tearing ligaments in my left ankle. It is now September 5th and it's still painful and swells but finally I'm up to working on this list again." It makes me sad that I missed so much time due to a silly injury, but, ah, well. While laying around, waiting for it to heal, I accomplished the things I could and dreamed about the things I couldn't.

I'm still working on that list. The problem is, it grows more quickly than I can complete it.

What would you add?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*Streak means all in a row. For example, "Streak: 14 days of moving every day," would mean I need to move for 14 days straight in order to check it off. Streaks, I hope, will help me kick-start something so that it becomes a habit.

-------------------------
Lori Seaborg
http://loriseaborg.com

Taking Care of Family First

Last fall, after Hurricane Katrina came, I was overwhelmed with a
desire to help others. Our area had suffered so much after Hurricane
Ivan the year before, that I felt a great empathy for those who were
going through Katrina.

I think it is also the missionary kid in me, but I cannot ignore a
need such as that, so, with the help of others, our family was able to
help a lot of people in Mississippi who needed a "first responder"
with first aid, clothing, toiletries, snacks, Bibles, and most of all,
a listening ear.

It is good to help others.

Also in the fall, I was selected to be a part of a team of writers
and speakers for an online women's conference. It was an honor to be
chosen as one of the twelve out of almost fifty applicants (I still
cannot fathom why!), and I had grand dreams of getting my books
written and speaking with the other women as we traveled across America.

It is good to work with others.

Then, in December and January, things just got plain old rough around
here. "Things" hadn't been smooth anyway since the hurricanes - they
affected our area, too - but we held onto hope all throughout the
fall. By January (last month), the hope was all but faded and it
became a time of sheer survival. I really mean that - we were so
broken and broke that we could, out of necessity, only think of
ourselves and how to take care of this little family that God had
given us.

And that's when I remembered something I had learned long ago when I
was once overwhelmed: Even though it is good to help others, and it
is good to work with others,

It is good to take care of myself and my family first.

Our recent hard times have made me realize, over and over again, what
blessings I have been given in this little family and this house. I
am reminded that God has given me a beautiful opportunity in caring
for my husband, our four children, and our home. It is my pleasure to
serve God by taking care of this family first. When I have done all I
should for them, I know He will help me expand my ministry to include
others.

But for now, I have stopped all outside obligations and may continue
to blog and write this newsletter inconsistently. When you don't hear
from me, you can know that I am thinking about you, but I'm busy
getting all of my ducks in the right row again.

by Lori Seaborg

Oh, Great...Mommy Guilt Again

Did I just write about Mommy Guilt only 3 days ago?  I cannot believe it was me who wrote those words, because today I received it in a three-hour dose.  I do a LOT, but nothing well.  That's what I said to myself today. 

 

The 10-year-old was in pajamas until noon because he couldn't find shorts to wear; the 2-year-old is going through potty-training and had an "accident" on the kitchen floor; I tried making a nice lunch for my man but it took an hour longer than anyone's stomach planned on waiting; the new puppy was yapping loudly for attention that I didn't have time to give; our luggage was still packed from our trip 6 days ago; my bed wasn't made; the floors were a mess; there was laundry to do; all the children were being disobedient; and I didn't get my God time in.

 

So I finally crumbled and said to dh, "I do so many things and I want to be perfect at them all. But I don't do anything well." 

 

Do you ever feel like that?  Overwhelmed with all that you're doing, and even more overwhelmed with all that needs to be done. Finally, you reach a crying point (or a yelling point).  You feel like a failure.  So Satan gets your ear.  He tells you that you're a failure and that you're a really bad mom. 

 

Do you really think you are? 

 

I know that you're not. 

 

God knows that you're not. 

(Originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)

What To Do with the Toddler & Baby While Teaching the Older Ones

On Empty Nest Mom, Cindy Downes asked:  "What do I do with my toddler and babies while I am teaching the older ones?"   Here was my reply:

 

I go by the assumption that it is true that 95% of what we teach will be remembered, so my 9-year-old and my 7-year-old teach our 5-year-old (not yet a Kindergartner) and 2-year-old. While I am working with one of the older ones, the other older one will pull out a K4 book and teach the little guy. The baby is at a copycat age and loves books, so she will sit by them while they do "school."

When they are not teaching the younger ones, my older children will do some schoolwork independently. This frees me up to do housework with my toddler following after. Our K4 child is well old enough to know how to respect the work of others, so I expect him to be quiet and read or write or else he needs to go play in his room while they work.

(Originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)

Let Go of Mommy Guilt

This is a blog post for mothers.  I am going to give it to you straight. 

 

You have so much to offer the world. You have so much to offer to God. Don't you think God gave you your personality and your talent for a reason?

Of course!

Satan does NOT want you to use your talents or your magnetic personality. He wants you to think you are a failure. He wants you to look at your faults. He wants you to think you cannot possibly have something to offer others. He wants you to think that you are not likeable or loveable. He wants to defeat you.

Why? You know how he works! You are a terrible threat to him! You have a talent that was given to you by God for a purpose. Satan wants the world to be ugly and people to be lonely. He does not want you to accomplish what God has for you.

You could be used by God in an awesome ministry, even if only for an audience the size of your little family (to God I doubt the number of people we touch in a lifetime matters, but that we touch the ones we were put here to touch). But you will never have a ministry - not one of any kind, not even one to your family - unless you stop listening to Satan's lies. In order to be used by God, you must force yourself to listen only to God while shutting out Satan's lies.

God NEVER, NEVER focuses us on our faults. Satan does.

I once heard that guilt is from Satan, conviction is from God.

Satan wants us to think we are bad mothers (I hear that one daily from him, too!). He likes "mommy guilt."

God would NEVER tell us that we are bad mothers. He is the eternal optimist! He can see what we cannot see. He can see our potential. He may convict us, as He did to me when I needed to apologize to our nine-year-old a couple of nights ago, after yelling at him for hurting his sister. I did not handle it well at all. After I sent him to bed in tears, I felt God convicting me to go to him and apologize. I did that and he and I had a nice time together, talking (children are so forgiving!).

Later, I felt guilt and in tears I said aloud, "I am such a bad mother! I mess up every single day!" But since I've been working on recognizing that mommy guilt is not from God, I didn't allow my mind to stay there.

God would not want me to say that or to think that.

Saying that I am a bad mother does not glorify Him at all. He does not think I'm a bad mother. He doesn't even think the worst mother in the world is a bad mother. Instead, He sees the mother that she could be. Only Satan is served by me thinking that I am a bad mother.

Those words of doubt and guilt that you hear are coming from Satan. He wants you to believe them. If you believe that you have nothing to offer God, then Satan wins because you will not offer anything to God.

Remember, God is the eternal optimist! He sees the wonderful mother, wife and woman that we are capable of being and He ENCOURAGES us to be that person.

God bless you today!

(Originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)

Chores: You're Not Doing Them All By Yourself, Are You?

When I was a kid, I remember telling my mom once, "You just had us so you'd have servants!" Now that I'm a mother of four, I think ... well, yep, that sounds about right. Those kids make great servants! Plus, they're cute to look at while they work.

But the biggest reason to teach them while they are little is not so you can get out of the work yourself, but because if you don't teach them, adulthood will be that much harder.

I have a friend who was pampered as a child and not taught to do any cleaning or cooking. She is now the mother of four preschoolers and has the hardest time keeping her home. My friend recently found a bag of flour in her cupboard.  Her mother had left it after visiting one day. My friend didn't know what to do with flour; she had recipes, but didn't know how to follow one! So she called her mom to ask what to do with the flour.  Guess what her mom said?

"I am so sorry I never taught you those things you need to know."

Don't you wait until your child is an adult to teach him or her!  Teaching can begin today. 

 

The kids don't need to add to our burden. They can be little helpers! Don't dustpan the floor after you sweep, get your 5yo to do it. Don't wind the vacuum cord after you vacuum! Call him in, tell him it's a race track and he gets to drive the cord around the track, winding it up.

Think of yourself as a manager. You are delegating the small stuff so you can work on the big stuff.  You will enjoy the little breaks that you receive and you will be less stressed. Your children will be filled with pride. But their real reward is later.

 

When they grow into adults they will know how to take care of themselves.

Sometimes we just don't realize what chores our children are capable of.  In the below posts, you will see my lists of chores that my children can do at ages 2, 5, 7, and 9.

(Originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)

Chores: What 1-2 Year Olds Can Do

1-2 year-old walkers can...

• Load the clothes' dryer as you hand over the items one by one. Say the names of the colors of the clothes as you hand them to her, so she'll learn her colors at the same time.

• Empty the silverware container from the dishwasher. My 2-year-old dumps the silverware into the drawer, so we have to straighten it, but at least it is in there!

• Take the silverware to the table for setting it

• Sit on the counter as you make cookies and dump the cups of ingredients into the mixer as you hand them to her

• Clear her items off the table after she eats

• Fill the dog or cat dish with the food that you give her

• Pick up her own toys (if she can pull them out of the basket or drawer, she can put them back in!)

(Originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)

Chores: What 3-5 year olds Can Do

3-5 year-olds can...

• Pick up an assigned floor (our little guy is in charge of making sure the living room and the library room floors are clear all day long)

• Dust low areas

• Sort socks (call it the "Matching Game")

• Wind up the vacuum cleaner cord after you vacuum

• Use the mini-broom and dustpan after you sweep the floors into a pile

• Clear the table after meals

• Empty the clothes' dryer into a basket

• Get the mail (if your mailbox is in a safe area, of course!)

 

• And he can do all of the 1-2year old's list, in the above post

(Originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)

Chores: What Elementary Aged Kids Can Do

 

Elementary kids can…

• Drill the preschoolers on numbers, colors, and letters. We keep flashcards, chalk, a Leap Pad, and dry-erase boards for this reason.  

• Fold clothes from the dryer (Start them out with just towels, then shirts, socks, and finally Daddy's looooong pants.  Nobody folds anyone's underwear! Those just get :::eww!:::
tossed into the owner's pile)

• Clear and wipe the table after meals (our 9yo son does this at supper; our 7yo daughter does this for lunch)

• Sweep the kitchen floor after meals (9yo's job at lunch; 7yo's job at supper)

• Vacuum a room or two

• Be in charge of keeping the floors of two rooms clear all day long (9yo does the boys' room, foyer, and hallway; 7yo does the girls' room and kitchen)

• Window clean

• Give the baby her bath (I'd wait until she is well old enough to sit, and your elementary-age child has to be trustworthy enough to do this!)

• Clean the bathtub after the younger ones use it

• Make a basic recipe (our 7yo can make French toast if I assemble the ingredients first. She also makes cinnamon toast; our 9yo can follow the directions on a box)

• Fill the cereal bowls of the younger children in the morning

• Fill the baby's sippy cups or bottles, or the preschooler's cups, as needed (our 9yo doesn't always want to do this for his 5yo brother, but I always say, " I was filling your cup when you
were his age, so you're going to do it for someone else now!")

• Open and close the window blinds/curtains each day.

 

• Do everything on the lists above, for 1-2-year-olds and preschoolers.

(Originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)

Why Did God Put Us On This Earth?

The children and I studied John the Baptist recently (well, "studied" sounds like we pulled out our Greek and Hebrew texts - if we had those - but what I mean is that we "read" about him.  Whatever!).  After "reading" about him, I asked the kids why God put John the Baptist on the Earth.  That lead to a discussion of why God might have put us on the Earth (in parentheses is the age of my brilliant child who made the preceding remark):

 

God put John the Baptist on the Earth to "tell people that Jesus was coming and to baptize people." (9yo)

 

God put our 9-year-old boy on the Earth to "make video games that don't include any shooting." (said our 9yo who at the time was grounded from all X-Box games because I finally grew tired of being "shot" at by the boys every time I turned a corner)

 

God put our 7-year-old girl on the Earth to "help animals." (7yo)

 

God put our 5-year-old boy on the Earth to "sell X-boxes to buy more X-boxes to sell and to buy food.  Then I would make wood things to put the food on the shelves and then give the food to people." (5 yo)

 

God put our 2-year-old girl on the Earth to "work with her sister" (said our 7yo, her sister) and "to make us smile" (mama).

 

God put Mama on the Earth to "help her kids" (9yo), "to be a good cook" (9yo), "to be a wonderful mother" (7yo), and "to go to bed" (5yo, bless that child!).

 

God put Daddy on the Earth to "be a good person, to be working outside to help get our chickens in the pen and to repair from the hurricane and everything" (7yo), "to help us and protect us and to give us a bunch of money" (9yo), and "to help Mama" (5yo)

(Originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)

Pads of Paper

One of the things I like best about our children's ages (9, 7, 5, 2) is that they are so easy to please at this stage. 
 
Their uncle, my brother,  is moving to Chile next week, and will travel light, so he's been dropping off odds and ends at our house.  We've found a home for his chair, a guitar, a drum, and other useful and useless things. 
 
The other day, my brother and I were going through his latest donations.  He held up a dozen used legal pads, with only the unused paper remaining in them. 
 
"Can't use these, can you?" he asked, with a face that said 'probably not' before I had a chance.
 
"Oh! The kids would love them!"   
 
He looked surprised.  "Really?"
 
"Watch this,"  I said, "You're about to see an overreaction to paper."  I called in the kids. 

 

Uncle held up the paper to them.  "Want this?" he asked, with another I-doubt-it look. The kids swarmed him with greed, jumping up and down, shouting over the paper and how many they each got to have.
 
With that, they all raced to their rooms and drew pictures for a long while.  My brother  shook his head and muttered,  "Wow.  That was intense."

(This article was originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)

What I Have Always Wanted

Our ballerina, 7, asks tonight, "Mama, what have you always wanted more than anything?"  She pauses for a moment, then inserts the answer she would choose:  "A horse?" 

 

I don't answer her verbally.  I just point at her.

 

"Me?"  she asks, and yes, I can truly say that she is what I have always wanted more than anything, from the time I used to play with baby dolls until the time I married her Daddy. 

 

I always wanted a firstborn son, and got that, I always wanted a little girl, and got that.  Then, we wanted another boy and another girl, and we got those, too.  We'd better stop wanting - we've got a houseful!

 

More than anything else, above riches and more land and goals met and even friends, I have wanted a family.  A family in which I was loved by loveable people.  I came from a family like that, so it was important to me to find it. 

 

What a humbling thing to know that God has granted me what I have always wanted, more than anything. 

(This article was originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)