Lori Seaborg

Surfing Everyday Life Photos

My new favorite things to surf (always changing, never the same month to month it seems!) are photo blogs of everyday life.  I am so inspired by seeing the beauty of everyday life through a camera lens. 

3191: A Year of Evenings

Six One Way: A Year of Motherhood

Noticing Project: An Image a Day in 2008

and a favorite blog, which is now posting photos for 30 days:

Soule Mama: 30 everyday days

Enjoy them!  Even if you're not big on photography, you will appreciate them for making orange peels in the sink and dirty laundry on the floor and messy kids look like ART.  See?  Our messes are art!  We just need to think of them the right way. 

Whew

I'm around.  We just hit a little bump in life's road, that's all.  Our 8 year old jumped on a trampoline -- her first jump, within the first 2 minutes that we arrived at her cousins' house an hour from home -- and the jump sprang her too high and too crooked, so she landed on one arm.  The right arm broke at the elbow.

We've logged in 13 hours at emergency rooms, hospitals, waiting rooms, etc.   Still many more hours to come! 

Today we took her into surgery at the hospital, where they placed two metal pins in her elbow to hold it into place until it heals.

Do you ever sigh and just say, "Whew.  It's hard work being a mom!"  I did today. 

by Lori Seaborg 2006

A Belly Laugh

Just a moment ago, my three year old and I enjoyed a laugh together.  Not a little chuckle, but one of those belly laughs that come from deep within and cleanse the soul.  She was crying only a moment before that.  I could see there was no reasoning with my teary gal, so I cried, too, in my best fake sob.  My sob was a little better than hers, she must have thought, so she amped hers up a bit.  Then paused.  My turn!  I cried a dramatic one.  Her turn!  She created a louder one.  My turn....I fake laughed a big Ha Ha Ha!  Her turn.  She fake laughed, too.  Soon, we were both laughing at the same time until we found ourselves in that belly laugh from deep within. 

I love moments like these.

~ Lori Seaborg 2006

Freedom

"As I sat in the grey bathrobe four babies had nestled against

while they nursed, my brain started clanging this jubilant message:  There are no shackles in this house, this is no jail. 

These kids are your ticket to freedom like nothing you have ever tasted, the kind that is not hinged on TV appearances or

writing for Life magazine or being a size six again. 

It's the liberation that comes from the sheer act of living itself. 

When you stop to be where you are, then your life can really begin."

~ from Surrendering to Motherhood: Losing Your Mind, Finding Your Soul by Iris Krasnow.

by Lori Seaborg

Missey ' s Wisdom

I was browsing through the site of our online friend, Missey Gray*,  tonight, reading her posts, enjoying her writing, and absolutely - desperately - wishing she was still with us on Earth so we could read about the new baby's beauty and if her son's rash healed and about the tender care her husband is giving her.  Reading her blog, I came upon this gem of wisdom from Missey that all of us homeschooling mothers need to read, reread, and then apply to our lives. 

I sure hope this bit of wisdom from Missey will touch you tonight as it did me.  From her December 19, 2005 blog entry (emphasis mine):

"This is the first year that I have given myself permission to take all of December off from schooling and it has been wonderful!

 

Anyway, that's why I've been so quiet lately.  We have been enjoying lots of family time this month.  I think a month-long break is just what we needed!  We have played games, eaten pizza, looked at Christmas lights, listened to Christmas music, burned scented candles, tried new recipes, enjoyed family get-togethers, gone shopping (both IRL and online), watched the birds, made Christmas ornaments, and lounged around in our PJ's and slippers as much as possible.  :-D

 

Life has been so laid-back and relaxed that I don't know how we'll ever get back on track come January, but I'm not going to think about that right now.  I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.  For now, I'm enjoying making memories with my family and letting all the worries and stresses roll right off my back.  They'll be there for another day.  But for today I'm going to get my Love Bank filled back up with kisses and hugs and quiet conversations (while making those same kinds of deposits into each of my loved one's Love Banks) and regain the strength to face all those worries and stresses that will still be waiting for me come January.  I think that by then they won't seem so big anymore anyway.  ;-)"

Hug your babies. 

God bless,

Lori Seaborg

* For those of you who do not know, Missey passed away this week from complications after a c-section for their fifth child, Melissa Kate.  She blogged the morning she died.. 

Here is the information:

 

Yesterday Missey went in to get her stress test that she's been getting every 2 weeks.  The test showed that Missey was losing amniotic fluid and that she had lost enough of it for  it to be alarming. That's when they decided to go ahead and take the baby.

After they lifted the baby from her body, some of the amniotic fluid got into her blood stream and caused a blood clot, which is what caused her death. She never came out of surgery. Her MIL said that this only Happens 1 in 200,000.

She said that the girls are holding up OK. She said that they all slept, no... clung, together in their bed last night. The oldest got up at one point and asked if little Nathan could also sleep with them, so they moved him into the bed with the 3 girls. She said that Tom is just in a daze. He has gone to the hospital this morning to be able to feed the baby.

 

Tom and Missey had chosen a name for the baby, but after Missey passed on they decided to name the baby Melissa Kate.

What is Good

There is something about decluttering that frees one up to do other things. For me, decluttering my house with you for 3 weeks freed me up to get established on regular routines, such as laundry routines and morning routines.  Decluttering also inspired me to whip our homeschooling schedule back into shape.  I've tweaked the schedule and discovered a free online curriculum, Ambleside Online, that seems so very much my style that I think it was a gift from God for me to discover.

 

I'll tell you why I've had these sudden cleaning and rescheduling urges, and why you haven't been seeing me blog as much ........

 

Last fall, after Hurricane Katrina came, I was overwhelmed with a desire to help others.  I think it is the missionary kid in me, but I cannot ignore a need such as that, so, with the help of others, our family was able to help a lot of people in Mississippi who needed a "first responder" with first aid, clothing, toiletries, snacks, Bibles, and most of all, a listening ear.   

 

It is good to help others.

 

Also in the fall,  I was selected to be a part of a team of writers and speakers for an online women's conference.  It was an honor to be chosen as one of the twelve out of almost fifty applicants (I still cannot fathom why!), and I had grand dreams of getting my books written and speaking with the other women as we traveled across America.

 

It is good to work with others.

 

Then, in December and January, things just got plain old rough around here.  "Things" hadn't been smooth anyway -we were affected by the expensive hurricanes, too - but we held onto hope all throughout the fall.   By January, the hope was all but faded and it became a time of sheer survival.  I really mean that - we were so broken and broke that we could, out of necessity, only think of ourselves and how to take care of this little family that God had given us. 

 

And that's when I remembered something I had learned long ago when I was once overwhelmed:  Even though it is good to help others, and it is good to work with others,

 

It is good to take care of myself and my family first.

 

Our recent hard times have made me realize, over and over again, what blessings I have been given in this little family and this house.  I am reminded that God has given me a beautiful opportunity in caring for my husband, our four children, and our home.  It is my pleasure to serve God by taking care of this family first.  When I have done all I should for them, I know He will help me expand my ministry to include others. 

 

But for now, I have stopped all outside obligations and may continue to blog inconsistently.  When you don't hear from me, you can know that I am thinking about you, but I'm busy getting all of my ducks in the right row again.

 

by Lori Seaborg

Flexibility on St. Nicholas Day

 

These holidays just do not have to be perfect....these holiday plans do not have to be perfect...I do not have to be perfect...

 

I am chanting to myself, so I will (hopefully) remember that I , and my holiday plans, do not have to be perfect.

 

All my St. Nicholas Day plans, the ones I laid out yesterday, went astray. Or awry.  Whatever word best draws a mental picture of plans not working out like they should. 

 

But, you know what?  I've leared that as long as I tell myself that the day does not have to perfect, and as long as I allow my children and my husband to be imperfect (okay, fine...me, too), I am happy with the day.  But if I dwell on all that went wrong (burnt cookies, extra errands, no brown sugar....), the day was ruined and I am glum.

 

Things are going to often go astray and awry in a house filled with little kids.  But kids could care less about that. 

 

What they will remember -- watch out, now, you know what I'm going to say -- is our attitude, whether it be happy or grumpy. 

 

I'm definitely not speaking from a throne here.  I was a grumpy perfectionist mama earlier today.  It was that thought, the one I just mentioned - that kids remember our attitudes - that straightened me up. 

 

We salvaged our St. Nicholas Day by making chocolate chip cookies instead of a Swedish delicacy, by reading  Santa Claus, Are You For Real? book (see the left column for a photo of the book and a link to see it), and by eating pizza instead of having a St. Nick tea. 

 

And our kids are putting out their shoes tonight for St. Nicholas to fill with goodies instead of last night.  I think St. Nicholas will still come tonight.

 

I guess I'd better go help him do that ......

 

 

by Lori Seaborg

Learning Contentment

I was searching for an article to send to an editor as a "clip" (example of my writing) today, and bumped into the following, so I thought I'd share it with you all.  The "baby" in the post is now 2-1/2 years old.  At the time, we were living in a 1290 sq. ft. house in Florida.

 

These are baby days in our household. Our little girl, Alyssa Belle,
was born on February 22, 2003. She's about 7 weeks old now and such
a cutie! We are so busy with her. I have had a hard time with being
content with the lack of work I can get done in a day. But time will
fly and Alyssa Belle will one day have as long of legs as her 7-year-
old big brother. Maybe I'll long for these colicky-cuddly days then,
so I'm reminding myself to cherish these days now.

Now that Alyssa Belle is 7 weeks old (tomorrow), already things are
getting easier than they were just a few weeks ago. So, today I
planted my herb garden. Of course, it was planted in little peat
pots rather than in the garden. I'll transplant the little darlings
once they germinate. There's not a chance to go out and hoe for the
plant babies when I have my human baby to tend!

Life these days is all about learning contentment. Either I can moan
and rage at my little, overflowing home and its sandy-soil yard and
the lack of time on my hands -- OR, I can thank God for these four
children blessing my life and make trade-offs in my mind. "Okay," I
say, "no garden in the ground? Let's use pots." "The floors in the
house are almost never clean? Let's make a game of clearing as much
as we can." All day long, I pray for serenity and think of ways to
make this life of mine spin less crazily.

 

As I tell my children, "Do all things without murmuring and disputing." (a Biblical Proverb)

Now, that's easier said than done!

 

~ April 11, 2003

 

by Lori Seaborg, who is still  learning contentment!

One Thought at a Time

This morning I was attracted to the view out the French doors of our river and our back yard. It has been days since we’ve seen sunshine, due to Hurricane Rita’s cloud cover. The sun was shining through the oak and cedar and birch trees, the river was sparkling, the wind was gusting, and the chickens looked as lovely as can be as they roamed among the jungle called “lawn” that needs to be . . .

. . . mowed. Badly. And there are broken limbs that need to be cut out of the trees. The logs that are stuck in the river from the hurricanes, what will we do about those? We can’t canoe until we get their massive selves out of the way. More tropical systems may come our way, like Rita. Oh, just great, look, Rita knocked over the lawn chairs and the tarp is in the neighbor’s yard again. And it is so blasted hot! When is it ever going to feel like late September? . . .

In the middle of those unlovely thoughts came an unexpected one:

“Never complain about anything. Not even the weather.”*

I remembered something that I read a long time ago: We can only have one thought at a time.That seems impossible for us multi-tasking moms, but it is true.We can only think one thought at a time. That means I can either dwell on our hard times and on negative things, or thank God for what I can find that is good.

Once I was reminded of my choice, I decided to again look at the good in the yard, and I thanked God that we are healthy and can do all of those big jobs we need to do. We will have months of lovely weather soon. And . . . I thought with a smile, if it wasn’t “so blasted hot,” I wouldn’t have lemons and tangerines to pick from my trees!

Now, I know that all of you do not have lemons to cheer you up, but you have something!

I’ll leave you with one of my favorite sayings:

“Two women looked through prison bars; one saw mud, the other saw stars.”

Lori Seaborg 

p.s. Both of today’s quotes are from my favorite nonfiction book, Calm My Anxious Heart, by Linda Dillow. Click here to view the book on Amazon. Or, click here to view it at Christian Book Distributors. 

Setting Down the Bread of Idleness to Set Priorities

I have been eating the bread of idleness lately.

 

A Biblical proverb is: "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness." You would think that idleness would be impossible with four children and all the duties that come with motherhood.  It's not that I'm idly doing nothing, it is that I am busily doing nothing. I have been keeping up with the minimum, but the minimum only. There has been no excellence in what I do.

It is so easy to be busy and yet have nothing to show for your efforts. I am the Queen of Useless Time.  I can wander the house, looking busy while I wander, but not accomplishing much. I find it difficult to focus on a task because, as the mother of a million kids (4, really), I am usually side-tracked in the middle of a job.

I have great desires from life: to be used mightily by God, to teach the children profoundly in homeschool, to be an excellent homekeeper, to look good for my husband, to write wise words that help others. Yes, I am a good dreamer and schemer. But I lack the self-discipline needed to accomplish my goals, even though they are God-given desires. That is a fault!

To keep from eating the bread of idleness, I need to set some priorities.  Here is my list, in order of priority (God - Husband - Children - Home - Self - Others) :

 

1. God: Spend time daily with Him at an appointed time (schedule it like an appointment, as if Jesus is sitting in my rocker, waiting for me to join Him!). Pray. Read Scripture. Write down what I learn.

2. Husband: Be a loving and helpful wife to the person God asked me to take care of for Him. Only I have been assigned this task.  What a privilege to be the one assigned to this man! (And thank God he's handsome!).

3. Children: Spend individual time with the kids. Love them unconditionally. Teach them of God. Memorize Scripture with them.
Teach them how to be good workers.  Make them laugh.  Allow them to play.  Teach them how to take care of themselves and others.

4. Home: Manage the home efficiently so that it serves us rather than we serve it. Organize it, clean it, schedule it. Make use of the home's servants which God has provided for me:  the washer, dryer, oven, crockpot, and dishwasher, among others. Use the home for hospitality as if Jesus just walked in: dusty, hungry and tired.

5. Myself: Love myself enough to say boldly, once a week or as needed, "I need time alone." Do frivolous things for myself that make me happy: buy a new book, apply nail polish, play with my hair, take a long bath by candlelight, use a new pen or journal, create a beaded bookmark or learn to knit. Walk daily. Garden because I love it, even if it looks funky to others that I mix lettuce with flowers.

6. Others: My outside-the-home mission is to write to others of daily life and daily lessons. Be vulnerable in my writing (as I am here when I tell you I lack self-discipline! Don't tell anyone).  Write as if God is sitting here, waiting to read my words. God has clearly asked me to do this for others.

Those are my personal priorities.  What would you write next to each area, especially the area of "Others?"  Should you teach a class, lead a childrens' choir, stock the food pantry, be on the women's committee, help out in PTA, be the soccer coach? Whatever it is, stay focused on that single task.  Say "no" to anything else.  Remind yourself to pray before adding another task in this area of serving others.  God may want you to focus on just one outside-the-home thing, so you can serve your family better.

 

Remember, God, family, home and yourself are to be placed before the final priority of others. That sounds backward, doesn't it? But, you can be best used by God when you have first given Him quality time, when your marriage is stable, when your children know they are loved, when your home is managed, and when you have taken care of yourself.

Establish your priority list.  Don't eat the bread of idleness.  I don't recommend it at all. 

 

by Lori Seaborg

Feeling Overwhelmed?

Over a year and a half ago, I was teaching children's choir, teaching adult education classes two nights a week, singing in the adult choir at church, homeschooling two children with two babies underfoot, taking the children two full days a week to extra classes, preparing to move to a new location for dh's job, and running a website as a business. I was overwhelmed!

Knowing that I was reaching my sanity's limit, I prayed for God to help me, with a please!

 

One night soon after my prayer, I walked into our six-year-old daughter's room and saw a basket hanging from her bunkbed with a stuffed animal and a note in it. I remembered that Brittany had told me she had a surprise for me, and to please come and look at it, but I was too busy filling an order for my business.  Later, after I sent her to bed, she called me again to see her surprise, but I said was still too busy and I'd come when I could.

Much later in the evening, I remembered that I had never gone back to see Britty's surprise.  Feeling a little saddened that I was seeing it after she was asleep, I opened the note. 

 

On it was written:  "I want to do 100 things for you."

For Brittany, a brand-new 6 year old who had four ear surgeries, writing that note would have been very difficult. It touched me to the core. In tears, I said aloud, "I want to do 100 things for you, too."

It was as if a light turned on in that moment as I saw how busy I had made my life. Each activity was noble, of course, and worthy of someone's time, but it was not to be my time that was used. 

That night, in my little girl's room, I felt God's whisper.  I heard Him whisper that I am to be first a wife, then a mother for this moment. He reminded me how quickly children grow up. It is only for a blink of time that they live with us. 

With my focus cleared, I immediately closed my website.  I had always given it to God, so I didn't question that he could provide for us financially without my side business.  Since we were moving for dh's new job, I was able to gracefully bow out of choir, children's choir, the extra classes, and teaching committments.

 

My husband became a top priority.  I started caring whether or not he had clean clothes.  I began greeting him as he walked in the door from work.  Our children also became a higher priority.  I started reading to them at night and singing with them in the day.   I focused on their little faces and the fun we could create together.  The house also became a priority.  With practice, it became a joy to create meals and decorate and surprise my husband while teaching our children how to manage a home happily. 

 

It has been over a year since Brittany's note and God's whisper.  Lately, I have felt God's nudge to write again, as a ministry and as a home business.  It is good to help others outside the family.  It is good to make a little extra income.  But I know that my ministry, business, or activity must never be more important than my family and my home. 

 

If we young mothers talked to older mothers more often, they'd tell us that children grow up quickly.  We already know that, but do we realize it?  We fill our days to overflowing with activities; we run after ways that we can serve in the church; we start new businesses or keep old jobs; we agree to be the room mother or the leader of a group; we seek to minister to others.   

 

Meanwhile, our families,  the very ones that God specifically gave us to minister to, are set aside. 

 

Are you feeling overwhelmed? Ask God to help you, with a please.  He just might whisper in your ear, too. 

 

by Lori Seaborg

 

A Note from Anonymous

 

I received this note from an "Anonymous" on July 8, 2005.  I keep it in my email Inbox so that I will bump into it now and then.  It helps keep my perspective straight. 

 

"My second husband and I were blessed with a son, when we were both in our early forties. My husband had two sons with his late wife and I had one daughter with my first husband. Our son added to the joy that we had found after our losses. He taught me 'to give life a chance' and stop picking every 'speck of dust' from the floor, because he played so hard and would litter the floor with his toys, just to look for one small toy and then go and play with something totally different. Our son drowned at the age of 4 years and 5 months in September 2003. After our son's death,the thing that I hated most was the spotlessness of our family lounge and our bedroom, where our son would play before going to bed. I realised how much more important family happiness was to me; I have become less intolerant of my family's carefree attitude and I am progressively embracing their first choice... a warm home."

 

"He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD."---Psalms 113:9

 

by Lori Seaborg